Woke 5 or 6 am - doing UT again.
Too much energy - tried relaxing. By 8am doze off - no recall of transitional phase.
Zoomed out somewhere beyond space feels like I am veiwing the universe - changing faces made of stars and then atmosphere and various colors - something being told - revealed yet to recall.
When I first saw a face formed by lines connected or emanating from a collection of stars I instinctively looked away - too intense. Then looking back the colored spaces for one large face.
Other things took place - FAs and scenes I cannot recall since I'm writing this too late - all events are quickly fading. I awoke around 10am - rarely sleep till this time.
The DreamWeaver
This morning at 5am I was as usual having difficulty falling back to sleep - mind rampant with thoughts. Eventually relaxed which entails resting on my front side but still took effort getting comfortable. I could just get up and forget attempting to sleep next time but as the weather is so cold now I get a little lazy in the morning.
Maybe a few minutes or so after I relaxed entered the projection transitional state - there was residue of ear ringing sensations in right ear. This has not occurred in a long time and now that the sensation is back I was concerned because this is the same side where the lump developed.
Brain buzzing as the lucidity of my new or converted environment enhanced. Before I emerged into the new scenes fully there were voices and it seemed these were actual events - some that have happened and some that may happen. Some future 'I' was speaking to a woman regarding a bill - the scene which I didn't see with my eyes but rather felt it occurring was me on the telephone listening to a woman who seems familiar telling me something about �90,000. Don't worry about it too much, hasn't happened yet. Then I hear my niece speaking to my sister - she's staying over for the holidays - I felt I was listening to a conversation they had the previous night but no actual details to verify since everything was moving with speed. This initial stage was choppy, there were so many sounds and other voices.
There were patterns, strange looking objects in the sky - the lens were constantly changing. Again that curiosity - open eyes to check on physical environment. Brain starts to buzz more, eyes in a kind of locked position feeling like again I'm having to pry it open. I get this sense that in this state if I don't keep my eyes closed away from physical environment I have the potential to cause some physical damage. The physical environment objects were bulgy or it appeared so. Close eyes - go through the motions of the other environments playing out. Some moments there was this undeniable knowing that I was the one who was changing the environment - the patterns and visible objects were my own doing. Some part of me was creating each and every aspect of this other reality - the knowing wasn't static - some moments I grasp and know fully and then suddenly I am in awe at changing environment losing myself within it forgetting that I am the mastermind behind it.
Head starts to buzz as I move away from foreign scenes and enter several false awakenings. There is external physical distraction as I am in the last FA where I can't move my limbs. This slowly brings me back to physical reality but head and brain hurts so much. I force my eyes open in a state of grogginess - I simply want to fall asleep but have to get up. Even as I write this energy levels feel so depleted - this mornings event has caused major fatigue which I hope a quick nap might fix.
Maybe a few minutes or so after I relaxed entered the projection transitional state - there was residue of ear ringing sensations in right ear. This has not occurred in a long time and now that the sensation is back I was concerned because this is the same side where the lump developed.
Brain buzzing as the lucidity of my new or converted environment enhanced. Before I emerged into the new scenes fully there were voices and it seemed these were actual events - some that have happened and some that may happen. Some future 'I' was speaking to a woman regarding a bill - the scene which I didn't see with my eyes but rather felt it occurring was me on the telephone listening to a woman who seems familiar telling me something about �90,000. Don't worry about it too much, hasn't happened yet. Then I hear my niece speaking to my sister - she's staying over for the holidays - I felt I was listening to a conversation they had the previous night but no actual details to verify since everything was moving with speed. This initial stage was choppy, there were so many sounds and other voices.
There were patterns, strange looking objects in the sky - the lens were constantly changing. Again that curiosity - open eyes to check on physical environment. Brain starts to buzz more, eyes in a kind of locked position feeling like again I'm having to pry it open. I get this sense that in this state if I don't keep my eyes closed away from physical environment I have the potential to cause some physical damage. The physical environment objects were bulgy or it appeared so. Close eyes - go through the motions of the other environments playing out. Some moments there was this undeniable knowing that I was the one who was changing the environment - the patterns and visible objects were my own doing. Some part of me was creating each and every aspect of this other reality - the knowing wasn't static - some moments I grasp and know fully and then suddenly I am in awe at changing environment losing myself within it forgetting that I am the mastermind behind it.
Head starts to buzz as I move away from foreign scenes and enter several false awakenings. There is external physical distraction as I am in the last FA where I can't move my limbs. This slowly brings me back to physical reality but head and brain hurts so much. I force my eyes open in a state of grogginess - I simply want to fall asleep but have to get up. Even as I write this energy levels feel so depleted - this mornings event has caused major fatigue which I hope a quick nap might fix.
In Between 2 States
I slept last night feeling devotional which comes with a package of emotions that are uplifting. Sleep was interrupted twice - once at 2am and the other at 4am. It was during the latter I was so fidgety and could not sleep nor did I want to bother getting up - I think now I may have been a little dehydrated and should've drank some water.
I think around 7am I relaxed, focused on the breathing and forehead area. I was expecting something similar to what I experienced in 'The Wise'. It is really the most lucid and solid visual I've had of the others and I felt this way I could communicate more directly.
Instead I ended up at my secondary school. I recently had an opportunity to revisit this school in reality. In this vision I entered the buildings, going from classroom to classroom wondering if I am really there or it was all just in my mind to begin with. I knew as I moved about and explored that my body was in bed and I got curious. Opened eyes and moved a little - a huge mistake. I felt something pried into the brain and movement caused an incredible amount of pain. Knowing I have to remain absolutely still I closed eyes and once again entered the school visual - some brain activity - a surgical procedure being carried out in the brain and I felt that in last nights salvia session.
I think around 7am I relaxed, focused on the breathing and forehead area. I was expecting something similar to what I experienced in 'The Wise'. It is really the most lucid and solid visual I've had of the others and I felt this way I could communicate more directly.
Instead I ended up at my secondary school. I recently had an opportunity to revisit this school in reality. In this vision I entered the buildings, going from classroom to classroom wondering if I am really there or it was all just in my mind to begin with. I knew as I moved about and explored that my body was in bed and I got curious. Opened eyes and moved a little - a huge mistake. I felt something pried into the brain and movement caused an incredible amount of pain. Knowing I have to remain absolutely still I closed eyes and once again entered the school visual - some brain activity - a surgical procedure being carried out in the brain and I felt that in last nights salvia session.
The Trees Are Breathing
Staring out window at the waxing crescent moon - the clouds around it clearly forming. I just suddenly felt like looking out the window to stare at the night sky for a while. Glanced at the tree beneath it across the garden, briefly staring there was a feeling that the brain was operating different to usual in this quiet serene state. The numerous branches pulsing and waving in and out - the entire tree seemed to be breathing. Then when I observed the many faces formed by the branches and whatever leaves remained the heads would look to be bopping.
Like changing lenses - one lens showed the entire tree as a living breathing being and another lens revealed the many countless faces of other beings - it seems like an infinite number of beings can and do exist within this one tree. That entire tree as it pulsed in that energetic wave took my breath away. Interestingly I was able to remove focus from this kind of viewing and deliberately return to it merely by being still and quiet within.
Like changing lenses - one lens showed the entire tree as a living breathing being and another lens revealed the many countless faces of other beings - it seems like an infinite number of beings can and do exist within this one tree. That entire tree as it pulsed in that energetic wave took my breath away. Interestingly I was able to remove focus from this kind of viewing and deliberately return to it merely by being still and quiet within.
Venting Anger at Teacher and then Laughing
After the AP I fall asleep dreaming about hanging out with my youngest sister. We're both attending a class.
A group of us have been flying and as I land I trip over bumping into my sister making her bump into the teacher.
The teacher is incredibly agitated and has formed an idea in her mind that I am deliberately trying to harm her. I defend myself by explaining the situation but she doesn't want to listen. At some point out of anger I call her a stupid f***ing b****. We are all seated in a circle. There's an old fashioned telephone on the table, she is calling someone and in my mind I knew without a doubt that she's trying to call my parents because at that moment I got a flashing image of the phone ringing at home every time she redialled.
I had enough, stood up telling everyone that I'm leaving. Just before I leave I ask the students sitting next to her if they recall the tripping incident and each of them verified that indeed it was an accident. Again I'm so angry and now it's directed at these students who could not bother to defend me earlier on - I guess I storm out after this. Wow - my dreams have not been very pleasant lately but I feel they are definitely reflective of how I'm doing emotionally with physical situations.
Another dream - I'm chatting with another sister who is on the phone to my aunt. She's angry (at least it's not me this time). Another old telephone system, she has thrown the cord down with reciever hanging and I can hear my aunts massive voice. My sister is going on and with her exploded temper I think she's not aware that aunt is still on the phone - I gesture to her but she doesn't care.
I know I have to pick up the phone and try to calm my aunt down but that also means staying on the phone for forever. I tell her to forget what my sister said as everyone knows she's a bit rowdy and that she even speaks to me with the same tone. I'm lying down listening to my aunt rambling on, she is telling me something and constantly crying. Three adorable kids walk in - I seem to know them, then a man walks in - the father, someone who in reality proposed to me and I had rejected.
One of the kid grabs my bent knees giggling, cheerful and so happy. I hold him or her calling them 'bulbulla' and for no apparent reason burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter - I wake up with that same laughter feeling somewhat good, at least better than the past few weeks.
A group of us have been flying and as I land I trip over bumping into my sister making her bump into the teacher.
The teacher is incredibly agitated and has formed an idea in her mind that I am deliberately trying to harm her. I defend myself by explaining the situation but she doesn't want to listen. At some point out of anger I call her a stupid f***ing b****. We are all seated in a circle. There's an old fashioned telephone on the table, she is calling someone and in my mind I knew without a doubt that she's trying to call my parents because at that moment I got a flashing image of the phone ringing at home every time she redialled.
I had enough, stood up telling everyone that I'm leaving. Just before I leave I ask the students sitting next to her if they recall the tripping incident and each of them verified that indeed it was an accident. Again I'm so angry and now it's directed at these students who could not bother to defend me earlier on - I guess I storm out after this. Wow - my dreams have not been very pleasant lately but I feel they are definitely reflective of how I'm doing emotionally with physical situations.
Another dream - I'm chatting with another sister who is on the phone to my aunt. She's angry (at least it's not me this time). Another old telephone system, she has thrown the cord down with reciever hanging and I can hear my aunts massive voice. My sister is going on and with her exploded temper I think she's not aware that aunt is still on the phone - I gesture to her but she doesn't care.
I know I have to pick up the phone and try to calm my aunt down but that also means staying on the phone for forever. I tell her to forget what my sister said as everyone knows she's a bit rowdy and that she even speaks to me with the same tone. I'm lying down listening to my aunt rambling on, she is telling me something and constantly crying. Three adorable kids walk in - I seem to know them, then a man walks in - the father, someone who in reality proposed to me and I had rejected.
One of the kid grabs my bent knees giggling, cheerful and so happy. I hold him or her calling them 'bulbulla' and for no apparent reason burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter - I wake up with that same laughter feeling somewhat good, at least better than the past few weeks.
Projection Experiences Changing
I wake up at 5am - empty bladder. Before I continue I should make a note of my recent mental state here - lately I have become so thoroughly depressed to a level that goes beyond any depth I've felt before. There is a thing where I yo-yo between depression and elation. I have noticed certain things that trigger it - usually it gets worse when a new health crisis emerges and I escalate into the worst thoughts possible and at times can remain calm. Other times it is the smallest most ridiculous thing that would agitate me until a few days pass by and I forget or something new arrives.
This morning didn't really care about anything except getting some sleep and last night slept through without a chronically disturbed mind - at least not as bad as two nights ago.
About 6am this morning relaxed deeply through closed eyelids bedroom wall visible. There is a face of a man on the wall and I observe it - it's still but seems to be continuously forming. I rise up to the ceiling and I think I was spinning differently than usual. This time just when I thought I was about to sink I didn't. Instead I was on the same level but things around me were changing - maybe there was some kind of charge this time that I can't recall. Everything occurring quickly that I seemed to be suddenly in another room sitting on a chair staring at the television - a Mexican film with a very Bollywood vibe was on. There was a woman to my left who seemed to know me. There are other people about and I am amazed at the vividness of the scene. I try to touch her face but things get a little hazy. I walk about this building with many rooms. Walk inside another room and get in bed why I'm not sure but I jump out as soon as I realize someone is under the covers.
There are a few voices I can hear calling me by my name.
I walk into other rooms checking for something unoccupied, I know I have projected to this place but I feel so lost.
There were more things that I can't recall - should've made notes as soon as I awake but far too groggy. Closed my eyes and had a dream in which I was venting some anger that might be significant to my current mental state.
These AP experiences are changing, changes made to transition and the quality as well as the lenght of experience.
This morning didn't really care about anything except getting some sleep and last night slept through without a chronically disturbed mind - at least not as bad as two nights ago.
About 6am this morning relaxed deeply through closed eyelids bedroom wall visible. There is a face of a man on the wall and I observe it - it's still but seems to be continuously forming. I rise up to the ceiling and I think I was spinning differently than usual. This time just when I thought I was about to sink I didn't. Instead I was on the same level but things around me were changing - maybe there was some kind of charge this time that I can't recall. Everything occurring quickly that I seemed to be suddenly in another room sitting on a chair staring at the television - a Mexican film with a very Bollywood vibe was on. There was a woman to my left who seemed to know me. There are other people about and I am amazed at the vividness of the scene. I try to touch her face but things get a little hazy. I walk about this building with many rooms. Walk inside another room and get in bed why I'm not sure but I jump out as soon as I realize someone is under the covers.
There are a few voices I can hear calling me by my name.
I walk into other rooms checking for something unoccupied, I know I have projected to this place but I feel so lost.
There were more things that I can't recall - should've made notes as soon as I awake but far too groggy. Closed my eyes and had a dream in which I was venting some anger that might be significant to my current mental state.
These AP experiences are changing, changes made to transition and the quality as well as the lenght of experience.
Face Streaming
Morning I awaken at 6:30am - can't believe how dark it is outside I would've thought it was 2 or 3am and taking into account that I was so groggy took a lot of effort to empty bladder.
Returned to bed doubting I'll be able to sleep at all. Getting comfortable resting on my front side managed to get some shut eye. I remember as I started to relax imagining something in front of me, pressing it I was startled as it felt too solid. Played around with my imagination for a little bit until I went even deeper in this relaxed zone.
I was aware at some point of something changing around me yet knowing that I was still in bed, several male faces streaming along the wall, each of them carefully observing me. They are like shadows on the wall - I do not recognize any of them, limited to guesses about them and reading facial expressions.
The faces seemed to be gently gliding across very slowly as if backing away so as not to frighten me. Brain feels so mushy, some part clicking and I got this feeling they had done something.
Some of them came closer to the head and I can feel around the head, sensations of them moving almost as though they had entered and became a part of the head. There was fluid movement within the body, felt like all at once each part of this body could detach becoming individual entities.
I never know when these certain 'others' show up unless I'm using Salvia. With the Salvia, experiences become too intense for me to raise questions and certain knowings seem to come as part and parcel of the experience - these reduce the need for the question, in fact sometimes the questions appear ridiculous in that state.
These beings are intriguing - a fascinating aspect of reality. I think perhaps the only reason why I am able to see them moving only in altered states of consciousness as opposed to the so-called normal waking consciousness is because something within the brain has to change. Perhaps that part is always active but since we use other parts of the brain on a daily basis repeatedly through mundane physical reality based activities - the other parts shut down.
Last night I was reading the Bhagavad Gita certain things making a lot of sense, more deeply engrossed in the story than ever before and I went to bed feeling devotional.
Returned to bed doubting I'll be able to sleep at all. Getting comfortable resting on my front side managed to get some shut eye. I remember as I started to relax imagining something in front of me, pressing it I was startled as it felt too solid. Played around with my imagination for a little bit until I went even deeper in this relaxed zone.
I was aware at some point of something changing around me yet knowing that I was still in bed, several male faces streaming along the wall, each of them carefully observing me. They are like shadows on the wall - I do not recognize any of them, limited to guesses about them and reading facial expressions.
The faces seemed to be gently gliding across very slowly as if backing away so as not to frighten me. Brain feels so mushy, some part clicking and I got this feeling they had done something.
Some of them came closer to the head and I can feel around the head, sensations of them moving almost as though they had entered and became a part of the head. There was fluid movement within the body, felt like all at once each part of this body could detach becoming individual entities.
I never know when these certain 'others' show up unless I'm using Salvia. With the Salvia, experiences become too intense for me to raise questions and certain knowings seem to come as part and parcel of the experience - these reduce the need for the question, in fact sometimes the questions appear ridiculous in that state.
These beings are intriguing - a fascinating aspect of reality. I think perhaps the only reason why I am able to see them moving only in altered states of consciousness as opposed to the so-called normal waking consciousness is because something within the brain has to change. Perhaps that part is always active but since we use other parts of the brain on a daily basis repeatedly through mundane physical reality based activities - the other parts shut down.
Last night I was reading the Bhagavad Gita certain things making a lot of sense, more deeply engrossed in the story than ever before and I went to bed feeling devotional.
Reality Waves
Woke up maybe 4ish am - after emptying bladder straight back to bed no thinking just the urge to close eyes and sleep.
No recall of the transitional state but suddenly became aware that my environment was different - consisting of a charge of energetic waves. Not sure how to describe it except that I was definitely not viewing my room. Top of my head sensations, pressure - brain buzzing and charging, this time it had a pulsating rhythm. It was intense but not so much that I couldn't handle it. I open my eyes with the intention to see if my room is still there. As I open eyes there is that movie like effect, white noise flashing sparkles tuning into a frequency type movie effect, but I was inside within the tuning. Finally I can see the window area in my bedroom is flowing with that same charge I viewed in alternate environment, it was waving and alive with a multitude of brightly colored flashing lights. My eyes feel tensed almost like I'm having to keep them pried open - either some kind of magnetic force wanting to close them or the eyes just could not handle these visuals. Closed them and again from the alternate environment opened again, looked at the window once more with all the waves moving about this time strongly trying to open them fully.
Can't recall what happened after this but I recall at some point where the energies all around me became intense causing an explosion of something in the physical environment.
Last night I slept really late deeply engrossed in making my herbal capsule formula and just before dozing off I drank the most vile tasting tea ever telling the parasites that live inside me (for now) that I want them out. Waking up this morning I felt that my thoughts and feelings from last night triggered this experience as I recall falling asleep the third eye or forehead area moving about a lot - the pressures were very intense.
No recall of the transitional state but suddenly became aware that my environment was different - consisting of a charge of energetic waves. Not sure how to describe it except that I was definitely not viewing my room. Top of my head sensations, pressure - brain buzzing and charging, this time it had a pulsating rhythm. It was intense but not so much that I couldn't handle it. I open my eyes with the intention to see if my room is still there. As I open eyes there is that movie like effect, white noise flashing sparkles tuning into a frequency type movie effect, but I was inside within the tuning. Finally I can see the window area in my bedroom is flowing with that same charge I viewed in alternate environment, it was waving and alive with a multitude of brightly colored flashing lights. My eyes feel tensed almost like I'm having to keep them pried open - either some kind of magnetic force wanting to close them or the eyes just could not handle these visuals. Closed them and again from the alternate environment opened again, looked at the window once more with all the waves moving about this time strongly trying to open them fully.
Can't recall what happened after this but I recall at some point where the energies all around me became intense causing an explosion of something in the physical environment.
Last night I slept really late deeply engrossed in making my herbal capsule formula and just before dozing off I drank the most vile tasting tea ever telling the parasites that live inside me (for now) that I want them out. Waking up this morning I felt that my thoughts and feelings from last night triggered this experience as I recall falling asleep the third eye or forehead area moving about a lot - the pressures were very intense.
A Walk In Paradise
Woke up at 4am, back to bed half an hour later. Frustrated with and endless thinking process, I breathe and relax - I recall at one time before relaxation when I had closed eyes a flashing image of a door to my left appeared.
Relaxed - can't recall going through the initial transitioning process. I found myself shifted immediately to another place. Walking down the corridors of this building it didn't take long to figure out that I was in a hospital. I open one door and feeling the solid touch I am astounded it was as real as physical reality realness - that same depth. I see a computer and think about getting my details that is if I'm in the hospital that I think I'm in. I want to check all the lab results because I suspect my recent Tuberculosis diagnosis to be suspicious. As I touch the keyboard once again I'm astounded by the realness factor. I get confused and realize I don't even know my hospital number and don't really want to type my name in - make a mental note of this so that when I get back to reality I can memorize it for next time. I walk away touching the environment as I go along. A few moments I imagine things and it is like they are coming to pass. I remember at one point thinking of going through the door believing it to be possible I walk right through it somehow I know this is also possible in the physical reality. There are others about but I do not approach them.
I walk outside, a huge contrasting scene to the hospital. Nature is all around and I am in love with this place. I remember seeing a variety of unusual flowers. Beautiful colors, an environment filled with every element of paradise. And I was viewing only a small area of it. There was the potential of something more - I knew deep down that this paradise is here at every moment. To the right a flying creature attracted my attention with the fluttering of it's delicate wings. It was large, its textures that of a moth and vibrant colours and patterns of a butterfly.
Scenes changed to other scenes that are vague but there locked in the memory bank. I do recall being around relatives at some stage wondering whether they are aware that we are dreaming.
Relaxed - can't recall going through the initial transitioning process. I found myself shifted immediately to another place. Walking down the corridors of this building it didn't take long to figure out that I was in a hospital. I open one door and feeling the solid touch I am astounded it was as real as physical reality realness - that same depth. I see a computer and think about getting my details that is if I'm in the hospital that I think I'm in. I want to check all the lab results because I suspect my recent Tuberculosis diagnosis to be suspicious. As I touch the keyboard once again I'm astounded by the realness factor. I get confused and realize I don't even know my hospital number and don't really want to type my name in - make a mental note of this so that when I get back to reality I can memorize it for next time. I walk away touching the environment as I go along. A few moments I imagine things and it is like they are coming to pass. I remember at one point thinking of going through the door believing it to be possible I walk right through it somehow I know this is also possible in the physical reality. There are others about but I do not approach them.
I walk outside, a huge contrasting scene to the hospital. Nature is all around and I am in love with this place. I remember seeing a variety of unusual flowers. Beautiful colors, an environment filled with every element of paradise. And I was viewing only a small area of it. There was the potential of something more - I knew deep down that this paradise is here at every moment. To the right a flying creature attracted my attention with the fluttering of it's delicate wings. It was large, its textures that of a moth and vibrant colours and patterns of a butterfly.
Scenes changed to other scenes that are vague but there locked in the memory bank. I do recall being around relatives at some stage wondering whether they are aware that we are dreaming.
The Conversion
Wake around 3am - close eyes almost immediately - shift - head buzz - something forming on ceiling - someone about to emerge - strong presence - scared - say to myself "focus on breathing and forget everything else". All attention on the rhythm of breathing.
I am high up now near ceiling. Less afraid, through the window, still dark out. Travelling end up in a scene - beautiful massive garden - pots with global hedges, lovely nature all over - sun is out. Walking and bouncing about the place cheerfully "Wow - I wonder if this place actually exists in reality".
Suddenly scene converts bit by bit to another scene - now very dark - I hear or feel someone on TV - a TV commercial - tele-shopping, someone selling round tablet detergent. My focus changes I am the person watching the TV - I have occupied a part of his or her body - the body was incredibly still. Environment converts to another dark room - sitting on a sofa. At some stage I recall lifting up legs and being able to see my legs. I can feel a presence - woman approaches me from the right, on her right hand she's wearing an animal puppet. She grabs me with puppet arm saying "Gotcha". If I were able at this moment I would've jumped out of my skin but body was in a state of paralysis.
I get this sense that scenes are about to warp into nightmarish scenes. I start to fight it urgently with great force shaking the body. Eventually snap out, the head buzzing calms down. There was a door to left in this scene which immediately converts to my bedroom window, and other various elements of that room from the scene converting to my bedroom. My head hurt so much, not from the head buzzing but from the fight that I had put up - I felt like my body and especially head had just crashed with great impact. Started to regret giving into the fear. Could not stay up long enough to check time - too exhausted fall asleep instantly.
Interesting experience and the morphing of scenes is not one I am unfamiliar with. The most intriguing part is when the scene morphs from what one might call the astral to one's physical environment. In the usual common type of projections it appears that there is movement from one place to another and of course that feeling of coming out of the body, in this particular type of experience everything was transforming in the same space without actually moving even though at times I felt I had traveled up to the ceiling or it seemed that I was walking. Something to do with the brain, connection to the sight and the mind behind the entire operation. I think what may have triggered this experience is certain heartfelt deep feelings and communication from my part to higher source prior to falling asleep last night.
I am high up now near ceiling. Less afraid, through the window, still dark out. Travelling end up in a scene - beautiful massive garden - pots with global hedges, lovely nature all over - sun is out. Walking and bouncing about the place cheerfully "Wow - I wonder if this place actually exists in reality".
Suddenly scene converts bit by bit to another scene - now very dark - I hear or feel someone on TV - a TV commercial - tele-shopping, someone selling round tablet detergent. My focus changes I am the person watching the TV - I have occupied a part of his or her body - the body was incredibly still. Environment converts to another dark room - sitting on a sofa. At some stage I recall lifting up legs and being able to see my legs. I can feel a presence - woman approaches me from the right, on her right hand she's wearing an animal puppet. She grabs me with puppet arm saying "Gotcha". If I were able at this moment I would've jumped out of my skin but body was in a state of paralysis.
I get this sense that scenes are about to warp into nightmarish scenes. I start to fight it urgently with great force shaking the body. Eventually snap out, the head buzzing calms down. There was a door to left in this scene which immediately converts to my bedroom window, and other various elements of that room from the scene converting to my bedroom. My head hurt so much, not from the head buzzing but from the fight that I had put up - I felt like my body and especially head had just crashed with great impact. Started to regret giving into the fear. Could not stay up long enough to check time - too exhausted fall asleep instantly.
Interesting experience and the morphing of scenes is not one I am unfamiliar with. The most intriguing part is when the scene morphs from what one might call the astral to one's physical environment. In the usual common type of projections it appears that there is movement from one place to another and of course that feeling of coming out of the body, in this particular type of experience everything was transforming in the same space without actually moving even though at times I felt I had traveled up to the ceiling or it seemed that I was walking. Something to do with the brain, connection to the sight and the mind behind the entire operation. I think what may have triggered this experience is certain heartfelt deep feelings and communication from my part to higher source prior to falling asleep last night.
Meditation Update
I haven't written about meditation in almost a year now simply because I haven't meditated, it had become difficult overtime and I think in some ways it was replaced with Salvia usage. It was after my difficulty with meditation that I discovered Salvia and felt guided to try it out.
A week ago I had meditated three times and each time for 20 minutes or so. Each time there were the common IBMs, it was mostly hand and finger movements.
The movements are much stronger than at any other meditation sessions. The index and middle finger pressed deep into my abdomen, and during another session my hands resting near thigh started to press in this area. Each time I was startled but continued to relax. It does feel like within me there is another occupant and for the briefest moment when I can relax it takes control over body. One night I recall going through this motion several times until I fell asleep.
I want to meditate daily but I know for now I need to take baby steps. It helps to have a specific time to meditate but maybe I'll stick with at 'when I feel like it o'clock'. I think previously what really helped was starting a 30 day meditation trial - might try this again.
A week ago I had meditated three times and each time for 20 minutes or so. Each time there were the common IBMs, it was mostly hand and finger movements.
The movements are much stronger than at any other meditation sessions. The index and middle finger pressed deep into my abdomen, and during another session my hands resting near thigh started to press in this area. Each time I was startled but continued to relax. It does feel like within me there is another occupant and for the briefest moment when I can relax it takes control over body. One night I recall going through this motion several times until I fell asleep.
I want to meditate daily but I know for now I need to take baby steps. It helps to have a specific time to meditate but maybe I'll stick with at 'when I feel like it o'clock'. I think previously what really helped was starting a 30 day meditation trial - might try this again.
Stories
Woke up at around 4am back to sleep by 6am. No intention to AP but as I started to relax my room appeared slowly through closed eyelids.
Started to turn anticlockwise to the other end of the room, consciousness shrinking room appeared massive.
Fall down through floor to the room downstairs which appears a little different. Don't want to stick around so I focus on the window. Eventually end up outside.
A few scenes take place and I almost lose myself in the roles that I'm playing - memory of these are hazy. I know I haven't left the body as I can still sense head buzzing. I return back focused in physical body aware that I hadn't really left.
Conscious of the body eyes still closed - head buzzing, out of curiousity open eyes to see what happens externally in this state. Lift right arm and to my wonder the arm is part formless with invisible strands as if it were still forming - very matrix like. I stare at it a while longer absolutely amazed. I knew the stage was being set up and I simply awakened earlier than usual to witness the outer construction which had yet to fully form. This has occured maybe twice before but in each incident I didn't attempt to look at body parts.
As I stared at the formation in wonder there was a realization that the earlier experiences where I was playing different roles were parts of stories, and that the life that I was living in the physical was also part of a story.
Started to turn anticlockwise to the other end of the room, consciousness shrinking room appeared massive.
Fall down through floor to the room downstairs which appears a little different. Don't want to stick around so I focus on the window. Eventually end up outside.
A few scenes take place and I almost lose myself in the roles that I'm playing - memory of these are hazy. I know I haven't left the body as I can still sense head buzzing. I return back focused in physical body aware that I hadn't really left.
Conscious of the body eyes still closed - head buzzing, out of curiousity open eyes to see what happens externally in this state. Lift right arm and to my wonder the arm is part formless with invisible strands as if it were still forming - very matrix like. I stare at it a while longer absolutely amazed. I knew the stage was being set up and I simply awakened earlier than usual to witness the outer construction which had yet to fully form. This has occured maybe twice before but in each incident I didn't attempt to look at body parts.
As I stared at the formation in wonder there was a realization that the earlier experiences where I was playing different roles were parts of stories, and that the life that I was living in the physical was also part of a story.
Breast Cancer - Impending Death
Last night slept late with engrossed deeply with my new projects.
I dreamt that I was with my eldest sister at some gathering. Sister is telling me something about a diagnosis and I felt like she said forklift back problems and had an image in mind what that would be like.
Once again I ask her about this condition in the middle of another meeting. I ask her again thinking the condition is not so serious only this time she replies that she has breast cancer. I am in shock but at the same time thinking of ways to cure her. Initial phase seems to be to get her to completely change her diet which is something I have been trying in reality for the past year since I started my own journey in regaining vitality.
The dream itself felt so real I woke up still concerned feeling that this was no ordinary dream, a prediction perhaps of what may happen.
Recently news passed on to me of a young woman I had known in the early years who is currently going for chemotherapy. With myself several days prior to the initial Kundalini experience I had an alarming episode where something lumpy in my breast was causing a great amount of pain. After checking I had decided it was definitely a sign of cancer and almost immediately the fear of death plagued my consciousness. I was close to booking an emergency appointment and then a thought came to me 'I have cancer and I am going to die, but people die everyday, I have to eventually die some day - so why worry about the inevitable.'
From then on I accepted my fate, and the fate of all those around me. It was also around this time that the world around me felt like an illusion. After the Kundalini flinging me in all kinds of direction I have developed a 'healthy body' fetish and the two characters now so contrasting, one completely fearless of dying and the other with a deep urgency trying to preserve that which is destined to come to an end.
With the Salvia experiences I have reached a level parallel to most of what I've read in spiritual materials from the likes of Sri Ramana Maharishi and Krishnamurti. Regarding the physical body what I have learnt through Salvia is that it is consisted of individual beings in their individual space and the beings have a reality ad infinitum, and we on the earthly realm are housed in tiny fragments of realities that make up realities far greater than what we can envision with our conditioned minds.
Going into that state of mind I am aware that the mastermind behind my life is my own self - that I am the one who came up with the entire plot from simple movements to the complex details. This comes as a realization, and the thought is usually 'how did I manage to fool myself'. Other times I felt like laughing in the face of death, a set up, a joke we play on ourselves simply because importance has been associated between the Self and the physical body - the latter being the shell for the Self and yet the Self the container.
I have to wonder what is it that makes me forget that - I know it intellectually now but not really know it, at least not convincingly. Some call it the veil between two worlds, personally I feel it is the veil between the two aspects of the same world.
Returning to the mundane world within a day or two settling back in to physical reality I easily forget, the role I am playing sucks me back in and once again engrossed in all the details.
I dreamt that I was with my eldest sister at some gathering. Sister is telling me something about a diagnosis and I felt like she said forklift back problems and had an image in mind what that would be like.
Once again I ask her about this condition in the middle of another meeting. I ask her again thinking the condition is not so serious only this time she replies that she has breast cancer. I am in shock but at the same time thinking of ways to cure her. Initial phase seems to be to get her to completely change her diet which is something I have been trying in reality for the past year since I started my own journey in regaining vitality.
The dream itself felt so real I woke up still concerned feeling that this was no ordinary dream, a prediction perhaps of what may happen.
Recently news passed on to me of a young woman I had known in the early years who is currently going for chemotherapy. With myself several days prior to the initial Kundalini experience I had an alarming episode where something lumpy in my breast was causing a great amount of pain. After checking I had decided it was definitely a sign of cancer and almost immediately the fear of death plagued my consciousness. I was close to booking an emergency appointment and then a thought came to me 'I have cancer and I am going to die, but people die everyday, I have to eventually die some day - so why worry about the inevitable.'
From then on I accepted my fate, and the fate of all those around me. It was also around this time that the world around me felt like an illusion. After the Kundalini flinging me in all kinds of direction I have developed a 'healthy body' fetish and the two characters now so contrasting, one completely fearless of dying and the other with a deep urgency trying to preserve that which is destined to come to an end.
With the Salvia experiences I have reached a level parallel to most of what I've read in spiritual materials from the likes of Sri Ramana Maharishi and Krishnamurti. Regarding the physical body what I have learnt through Salvia is that it is consisted of individual beings in their individual space and the beings have a reality ad infinitum, and we on the earthly realm are housed in tiny fragments of realities that make up realities far greater than what we can envision with our conditioned minds.
Going into that state of mind I am aware that the mastermind behind my life is my own self - that I am the one who came up with the entire plot from simple movements to the complex details. This comes as a realization, and the thought is usually 'how did I manage to fool myself'. Other times I felt like laughing in the face of death, a set up, a joke we play on ourselves simply because importance has been associated between the Self and the physical body - the latter being the shell for the Self and yet the Self the container.
I have to wonder what is it that makes me forget that - I know it intellectually now but not really know it, at least not convincingly. Some call it the veil between two worlds, personally I feel it is the veil between the two aspects of the same world.
Returning to the mundane world within a day or two settling back in to physical reality I easily forget, the role I am playing sucks me back in and once again engrossed in all the details.
The Wise
As usual awake at 4:30am. 6am closed eyes to relax, this time no sexual arousal to deal with.
I start to shift away from body almost instantly, sinking down and around various places. Try to zoom into some areas when I get some control but only movement I can control seems to be going backwards.
At some stage back in body with a buzzing starting in the head.
I'm looking, either through eyelids or the surface of inner eyelids. I feel maybe I was looking at the ceiling that had slowly transformed. My light fixing was not there, instead something was emerging out of it. A formation of a solid face thumping, next to this face three other faces emerge. They look a lot more different than the other times, 3D formation using the surrounding materials. There was a soft look to the material that they were formed with.
I think they were a mix of male and female. When they realize I'm aware one of them moves away looking into another direction as if calling someone. There is sound, voices of people. Brain buzzing ferociously yet my capacity to handle it feels much greater than other times. A face, with more colour starts to flash and it appears to be so near to me. The others move away and there in the center is a much larger head of an old man. Old yet wise, the face was still, filled with wisdom and an absolute knowing look. Eyes looked as though they bore into my soul and knew everything.
Moving closer I felt a mixture of emotions, some kind of fear and shame. Unable to make eye contact I look away and ask for forgiveness for all my sins. The buzzing subsides gradually at the same time I lose contact and open eyes in bed suprised that the extreme buzzing left behind no pain. Coming back a last voice played and felt like I was so near to the woman who was speaking. She had a chinese accent saying '500 kilos' speaking to someone.
A lot has shifted in these experiences which I believe may have to do with some physical factors. Past few days started swamootra neti which I find cleans my nasal passageway to a greater deegree than the usual saline solution. Also I have taken up urine therapy once again. The sexual energy has a major part in this and now applying the 6th Tibetan Rite to send this energy upwards. Other factors involve sticking to a routine of simple raw diet which is leaning towards 70% of what I eat.
I start to shift away from body almost instantly, sinking down and around various places. Try to zoom into some areas when I get some control but only movement I can control seems to be going backwards.
At some stage back in body with a buzzing starting in the head.
I'm looking, either through eyelids or the surface of inner eyelids. I feel maybe I was looking at the ceiling that had slowly transformed. My light fixing was not there, instead something was emerging out of it. A formation of a solid face thumping, next to this face three other faces emerge. They look a lot more different than the other times, 3D formation using the surrounding materials. There was a soft look to the material that they were formed with.
I think they were a mix of male and female. When they realize I'm aware one of them moves away looking into another direction as if calling someone. There is sound, voices of people. Brain buzzing ferociously yet my capacity to handle it feels much greater than other times. A face, with more colour starts to flash and it appears to be so near to me. The others move away and there in the center is a much larger head of an old man. Old yet wise, the face was still, filled with wisdom and an absolute knowing look. Eyes looked as though they bore into my soul and knew everything.
Moving closer I felt a mixture of emotions, some kind of fear and shame. Unable to make eye contact I look away and ask for forgiveness for all my sins. The buzzing subsides gradually at the same time I lose contact and open eyes in bed suprised that the extreme buzzing left behind no pain. Coming back a last voice played and felt like I was so near to the woman who was speaking. She had a chinese accent saying '500 kilos' speaking to someone.
A lot has shifted in these experiences which I believe may have to do with some physical factors. Past few days started swamootra neti which I find cleans my nasal passageway to a greater deegree than the usual saline solution. Also I have taken up urine therapy once again. The sexual energy has a major part in this and now applying the 6th Tibetan Rite to send this energy upwards. Other factors involve sticking to a routine of simple raw diet which is leaning towards 70% of what I eat.
Radiation Dream Theme
Lately radiation has been taking over my dreams, in a recent dream there were two vault doors, my mum was messing around with one almost unlocking it until me and my eldest sister who was present warned her.
Since I have been practicing 6th tibetan rite dreams have been a lot more vivid, more realistic than usual and always waking me up after 3am.
A very interesting dream I'll jot down here that I had yesterday:
Wrong Flight
I'm in a car with my sister, dad and brother who is driving. Being dropped off to airport. Sis gets on plane. I hear from distance a flight attendant calling out my sisters name and somehow I know that she got on wrong plane. Me and my dad are let on the plane. The plane is moving and it is to late to get off. I ask another woman on the plane where this plane is headed. She tells me they are going to a disco as if to let me know they're gonna have fun. I ask her which country to which her response is chzec republic. I feel bad for my sister coz she looks upset, tell her that there are these cool people she can hang out with. She cheers up a little looking hopeful despite the mix up. It then dawns on me that the plane is moving with me and dad still present. Unfortunately we have to get off due to a very important meeting that we are to attend in a matter of minutes. I tell the flight attendant we have to get off. I am told that it is too late the plane is building momentum almost ready to lift off. I start to think very hard, look at my dad who is standing calmly munching peanuts and get an idea. Start to cry and tell them that my dad is very sick that I have to get him to the hospital, that although he looks normal his condition is a matter of life and death unless I can get him to a doctor immediately. Eventually after much sobbing they hear my plea and let us off.
Since I have been practicing 6th tibetan rite dreams have been a lot more vivid, more realistic than usual and always waking me up after 3am.
A very interesting dream I'll jot down here that I had yesterday:
Wrong Flight
I'm in a car with my sister, dad and brother who is driving. Being dropped off to airport. Sis gets on plane. I hear from distance a flight attendant calling out my sisters name and somehow I know that she got on wrong plane. Me and my dad are let on the plane. The plane is moving and it is to late to get off. I ask another woman on the plane where this plane is headed. She tells me they are going to a disco as if to let me know they're gonna have fun. I ask her which country to which her response is chzec republic. I feel bad for my sister coz she looks upset, tell her that there are these cool people she can hang out with. She cheers up a little looking hopeful despite the mix up. It then dawns on me that the plane is moving with me and dad still present. Unfortunately we have to get off due to a very important meeting that we are to attend in a matter of minutes. I tell the flight attendant we have to get off. I am told that it is too late the plane is building momentum almost ready to lift off. I start to think very hard, look at my dad who is standing calmly munching peanuts and get an idea. Start to cry and tell them that my dad is very sick that I have to get him to the hospital, that although he looks normal his condition is a matter of life and death unless I can get him to a doctor immediately. Eventually after much sobbing they hear my plea and let us off.
Baba
Woke up at 4:30am - sexual urges almost beyond control. Past few days practiced the 6th Tibetan Rite which has helped a little. Practiced this morning whilst laying down even though the rite requires standing up.
Eventually closed eyes around 6am hoping for some sleep.
Inner vision slowly getting clearer, things happening in the brain - part paralysis, keeping head very still go with the sensations. Somehow I was floating in the still dark sky moving upwards without my control. In this travel I bump into several sky beings made of clouds, incredibly clear from this angle. I guess being nearer to them they look even more real than in my Salvia trips. Going higher I feel exhilarated, excited and breathless anticipating something extraordinary. I knew at that moment where I was headed only because of that inescapable feeling. I was near to something very familiar, the feeling condensed into a word that after absolute recognition escaped my mind... Baba.
I know in some languages 'Baba' means father and I had felt that that someone I was automatically drawn to was indeed a fatherly presence. What happened beyond this is hidden now.
I only remember fragments after this. Still in the sky somewhere it was sunrise and in the clear light there were placards of statements that seemed like instructions - several of them being shown to me by invisible Beings (Beings expressing words like this has happened in other earlier projections). The only statement I can recall is 'Eat the Earth'. I found this strange even at the time of viewing and now wonder did they mean it literally or just how did they mean it?
The other statements are obviously connected as part of a sequence yet I can't recall beyond this except for a few moments of SP and then a moment where my left eye was moving and through that lens I was shown an image that can come to life - as if a design of some kind for a physical setting. Another moment everything was blank like a canvas ready for me to get painting on only this kind of painting consisted of living images. Just recalled now that in another instance there was talk of 'ego' - being told about others who have been able to retain ego whilst transcending to higher states of consciousness.
Eventually closed eyes around 6am hoping for some sleep.
Inner vision slowly getting clearer, things happening in the brain - part paralysis, keeping head very still go with the sensations. Somehow I was floating in the still dark sky moving upwards without my control. In this travel I bump into several sky beings made of clouds, incredibly clear from this angle. I guess being nearer to them they look even more real than in my Salvia trips. Going higher I feel exhilarated, excited and breathless anticipating something extraordinary. I knew at that moment where I was headed only because of that inescapable feeling. I was near to something very familiar, the feeling condensed into a word that after absolute recognition escaped my mind... Baba.
I know in some languages 'Baba' means father and I had felt that that someone I was automatically drawn to was indeed a fatherly presence. What happened beyond this is hidden now.
I only remember fragments after this. Still in the sky somewhere it was sunrise and in the clear light there were placards of statements that seemed like instructions - several of them being shown to me by invisible Beings (Beings expressing words like this has happened in other earlier projections). The only statement I can recall is 'Eat the Earth'. I found this strange even at the time of viewing and now wonder did they mean it literally or just how did they mean it?
The other statements are obviously connected as part of a sequence yet I can't recall beyond this except for a few moments of SP and then a moment where my left eye was moving and through that lens I was shown an image that can come to life - as if a design of some kind for a physical setting. Another moment everything was blank like a canvas ready for me to get painting on only this kind of painting consisted of living images. Just recalled now that in another instance there was talk of 'ego' - being told about others who have been able to retain ego whilst transcending to higher states of consciousness.
Through the Looking-Glass 2
Last night before falling asleep thought about astral projection and putting forth intention to be awakened at around 4am.
Startled awake at 5:30am from a dream where a Doctor tries to gun me down.
At 7:30am close eyes and relax. Immediately I am able to see through my eye-lids, looking to the right side of my room in this visual my furniture are not present neither is the large mirror on the wall. Instead there is a face of a man using shadow and part light I guess.
Consciousness, spirit, or astral body rises - I don't know which one all I know is the 'I' definitely rises. Drawn to the face I move in that direction by gliding. Briefly consider perhaps that face is a mask and when I get there I will be that - instead I am beside it. From that angle the window is visible. I look out - the outside is so clear and vivid but looks different.
Start to sink all the while I am holding on to the clarity of sight. Sink down to downstairs room and travel outside through the window. As I am outside I feel I am looking through glass, like the world before me is contained in crystal clear glass and I am seeing it from the outside of it.
I glide through the town observing and doing nothing else in particular. I think after this I drift off to sleep. Wake up late to the pounding throb in my entire body.
Startled awake at 5:30am from a dream where a Doctor tries to gun me down.
At 7:30am close eyes and relax. Immediately I am able to see through my eye-lids, looking to the right side of my room in this visual my furniture are not present neither is the large mirror on the wall. Instead there is a face of a man using shadow and part light I guess.
Consciousness, spirit, or astral body rises - I don't know which one all I know is the 'I' definitely rises. Drawn to the face I move in that direction by gliding. Briefly consider perhaps that face is a mask and when I get there I will be that - instead I am beside it. From that angle the window is visible. I look out - the outside is so clear and vivid but looks different.
Start to sink all the while I am holding on to the clarity of sight. Sink down to downstairs room and travel outside through the window. As I am outside I feel I am looking through glass, like the world before me is contained in crystal clear glass and I am seeing it from the outside of it.
I glide through the town observing and doing nothing else in particular. I think after this I drift off to sleep. Wake up late to the pounding throb in my entire body.
Dr Mad
A doctor who has something dangerous in his office. Somehow sneak in and grab this something - take it to another room where there is a woman - we both examine it. A glass box - inside a red glowing light. I determine it's some kind of radiation. Impulsively I grab the phone, doctor on the other line as I smash the box making him hear the sound of his weapon destroyed. Start to load a gun so that Dr knows I have a weapon and can defend myself. Open door slightly to see Dr waiting near his door with his own gun. Tell the woman to take the gun and make a run for it and not to use it unless it's necessary.
Going against my advice she runs out all the while shooting at the ceiling. I start to panic and run out with the Dr chasing me certain that I'm going to die - crazy dream.
Going against my advice she runs out all the while shooting at the ceiling. I start to panic and run out with the Dr chasing me certain that I'm going to die - crazy dream.
Occupied
Early morning in the midst of sleep alerted to physical body because arms were moving of their own accord. Each time it occured I became strongly aware of a presence - a being which has occupied what I consider to be my physical body. It was thinking specific thoughts and like a child playing with what looked like my arms, raising them up and swirling about. I can't recall the thoughts but it was playful and even cheerful.
Head did some kind of crazy somersaults.
Head did some kind of crazy somersaults.
Hospital
At first aware that I'm in bed, zone out soon enough - feeling groggy look up to see a round light fixing. In a different room entirely. I feel that I'm in a hospital and something happened and the physical life was not my life. I felt that I was some patient, perhaps I had been in a coma and this physical life was a long dream from which I had finally awakened.
Eye Twister
In the midst of sleep time I become aware of the physical body in bed. To my right there's a glowing light which seemed to look like a being. It glides across very near to my legs. Major fear coming from me when I realize that my body is paralysed.
Legs bent so as it moved to the end of the bed I was not sure what it was up to - it was consistently emanating a glowing light, parts were yellow other parts hinted with different shades. As I forced myself out of the paralysis the moving light Being smoothly reached the wall where the window should have been and became the window with the early morning light outside glowing the room. At that point I realized that my eyes were twisted - becoming aware suddenly the physical had been scrambled - much like lego where every bits were stored or stashed away and what I had witnessed was my physical surrounding reforming. As the body reforms so does the world around it. I should not have been so afraid, it seems this was a very natural process.
It was around 5ish am and about 30 minutes later I relaxed lying down on the front side. Found myself in that unusual surrounding, there was a light emanating on right side and the entire physical structure had become twisted - at this stage I was aware that once again the eyes were also twisted or perhaps it was something inside that projected this twisted structure. The light was very near to the eyes. I wondered what part of the room was this light emanating from. There was an eruption near rectum where I am feeling a forceful energetic sensation. I know it is related to mula bandha or root lock. Encouraging the movement feeling an incredible sexual intensity I think somewhere I lose conscious awareness and maybe enter a dream state. Wake up from alarm at 7:35am - briefly close eyes where I see multiplying blue grains of glowing light.
Legs bent so as it moved to the end of the bed I was not sure what it was up to - it was consistently emanating a glowing light, parts were yellow other parts hinted with different shades. As I forced myself out of the paralysis the moving light Being smoothly reached the wall where the window should have been and became the window with the early morning light outside glowing the room. At that point I realized that my eyes were twisted - becoming aware suddenly the physical had been scrambled - much like lego where every bits were stored or stashed away and what I had witnessed was my physical surrounding reforming. As the body reforms so does the world around it. I should not have been so afraid, it seems this was a very natural process.
It was around 5ish am and about 30 minutes later I relaxed lying down on the front side. Found myself in that unusual surrounding, there was a light emanating on right side and the entire physical structure had become twisted - at this stage I was aware that once again the eyes were also twisted or perhaps it was something inside that projected this twisted structure. The light was very near to the eyes. I wondered what part of the room was this light emanating from. There was an eruption near rectum where I am feeling a forceful energetic sensation. I know it is related to mula bandha or root lock. Encouraging the movement feeling an incredible sexual intensity I think somewhere I lose conscious awareness and maybe enter a dream state. Wake up from alarm at 7:35am - briefly close eyes where I see multiplying blue grains of glowing light.
Ghostly
At 3:15am woke up and from then started urine therapy something I have stopped several months ago due to the appearance of a lump near neck which the doctors are unable to conclude on a diagnosis. I think in some ways the practice of urine therapy (aka shivambu) may have triggered this morning experience in some ways.
6am still awake unable to sleep closed eyes and relaxed waiting for sleep. I found myself in the living room with my nephew sitting down on the sofa and immediately realize I am dreaming. I'm talking to him but he is being rather annoying - I tell him that I love him and that he is so adorable making him blush like a girl which silences him.
The scene warps into darkness - suddenly I feel a sensation in the rectum, felt like a finger or a rod sticking up. Very painful and uncomfortable. I'm aware of my bedroom at this stage and that I'm back in bed sleeping on the front side. I turn around on my back and the sensation subsides but travels up to the tailbone and rattles. I wonder if I should've remained still.
Close eyes and start to see through my eyelids faces slightly forming on ceiling.
Open eyes and close them again. This time a glowing line forming a man appears, he seems to be on top vibrating or rocking vigorously to the rhythm of that wave sensation almost as if he is causing it. Open eyes one more time and feel the shaking is a deep inner sensation slightly moving outwards. Close eyes again his form still visible I reach out with my arms but they go through him passing by to the window my hands look so vivid. I rocket out the window flying by little odd buildings that look like creatures, living yet made out of solid inanimate material. I soar up high across a lot of dome shaped buildings.
As I'm flying there is an ecstatic feeling of incomprehensible joy, I feel as though I have been set free. I feel like singing and the song that comes to mind is from a bollywood movie. Song called Papa kehte hain. The inner voice is singing this song so loud I am briefly abrupted thinking it can be heard in the physical which makes me return slowly.
Back in again enter a dream sequence where in my house I see a ghost and start to feel comfortable around it initially after some fear mounts on the surface. I could feel the others are present and get this sense that this is some kind of dream test that I have yet to face the real challenge in the physical focus. Aware of the body with a feeling of lurking presence, worried about what I'll see when I open eyes - not sure about seeing ghosts just yet.
Open eyes slowly, a gust of wind gushes through my ears, nose and head area as though something roaring within me which took me by suprise.
6am still awake unable to sleep closed eyes and relaxed waiting for sleep. I found myself in the living room with my nephew sitting down on the sofa and immediately realize I am dreaming. I'm talking to him but he is being rather annoying - I tell him that I love him and that he is so adorable making him blush like a girl which silences him.
The scene warps into darkness - suddenly I feel a sensation in the rectum, felt like a finger or a rod sticking up. Very painful and uncomfortable. I'm aware of my bedroom at this stage and that I'm back in bed sleeping on the front side. I turn around on my back and the sensation subsides but travels up to the tailbone and rattles. I wonder if I should've remained still.
Close eyes and start to see through my eyelids faces slightly forming on ceiling.
Open eyes and close them again. This time a glowing line forming a man appears, he seems to be on top vibrating or rocking vigorously to the rhythm of that wave sensation almost as if he is causing it. Open eyes one more time and feel the shaking is a deep inner sensation slightly moving outwards. Close eyes again his form still visible I reach out with my arms but they go through him passing by to the window my hands look so vivid. I rocket out the window flying by little odd buildings that look like creatures, living yet made out of solid inanimate material. I soar up high across a lot of dome shaped buildings.
As I'm flying there is an ecstatic feeling of incomprehensible joy, I feel as though I have been set free. I feel like singing and the song that comes to mind is from a bollywood movie. Song called Papa kehte hain. The inner voice is singing this song so loud I am briefly abrupted thinking it can be heard in the physical which makes me return slowly.
Back in again enter a dream sequence where in my house I see a ghost and start to feel comfortable around it initially after some fear mounts on the surface. I could feel the others are present and get this sense that this is some kind of dream test that I have yet to face the real challenge in the physical focus. Aware of the body with a feeling of lurking presence, worried about what I'll see when I open eyes - not sure about seeing ghosts just yet.
Open eyes slowly, a gust of wind gushes through my ears, nose and head area as though something roaring within me which took me by suprise.
Through The Eyelids
Went to bed last night briefly wondering about astral projections. It started in the midst of self-enquiry, I wondered if I am not the physical body then what is an astral projection - even in these projections the 'I' is present. Are APs simply dreams within this dream?
Continued with the self enquiry until I fell asleep. At 4am woke up from a nightmare where I and others around me were fighting robots and other monstrous looking creatures. I was aiming at a broken open part of a robot that was attacking me woke up feeling pain near left side waist and stomach churning. Emptied bladder and by 5am relaxed for sleep.
There was that sensation of electricity coursing through the left calves - this time a lot more deliberate. I followed the feeling and instead of moving about just allowed it to move freely. Straightened legs. Eventually I felt something gripping a piece at the middle of forehead - moving something with force - like taking a plug off, it was removed whatever 'it' was. Something is going on in the face - I feel rather than hear crunchiness, cracking and snapping mostly near nasal region.
The entire time my eyes were closed. Soon I was seeing my room and the visible furniture through the eyelids. Had a feeling of a presence - it was inside me and it was this presence that was seeing through the eyelids. I could feel it so strongly yet it was silent and unmoving. For a brief moment I thought how cool it would be if I could always see through the eyelids - started to think about certain tricks like asking others to hold up random number of fingers and telling them the exact number of fingers all the while with closed eyes.
The 'others' start to emerge on the ceiling just like in Salvia experiences. If they had been visible before Salvia experiences this incident would've scared me. There was no exchange of communication except that of facial expressions. Their look said something along the lines of 'It worked'. They seemed to be huddled together and being very cautious as to how I would react. My reaction is that I'm not afraid and mentally I say to them that it's okay, they can come through - there's no fear at least on my part. I am smiling, very happy to be able to see them especially without the use of Salvia.
I look away briefly and there is an anticlockwise spin. Sinking downwards and all is dark with a few visible glimmers of physical surrounding. I start to ask 'who am I' - who is the 'I' that has this experience and hold on to that.
In another space now - a big mansion like building. Members of my family are present here. I wonder what they are doing here. As I see them all I think that one of them is having this dream and I may have entered it. Or not. Too busy walking around to talk to anyone. Ahead I see a window and maybe a reflection of something. Want to zoom to it but it doesn't work so use the old fashioned form of transport and walk. After this everything is hazy.
Waking up this morning my brain felt heavy like it was overworked. Past few days feel like this fatigue of body and overworked brain has been increasing. Though throughout the day time energy levels seem normal.
Continued with the self enquiry until I fell asleep. At 4am woke up from a nightmare where I and others around me were fighting robots and other monstrous looking creatures. I was aiming at a broken open part of a robot that was attacking me woke up feeling pain near left side waist and stomach churning. Emptied bladder and by 5am relaxed for sleep.
There was that sensation of electricity coursing through the left calves - this time a lot more deliberate. I followed the feeling and instead of moving about just allowed it to move freely. Straightened legs. Eventually I felt something gripping a piece at the middle of forehead - moving something with force - like taking a plug off, it was removed whatever 'it' was. Something is going on in the face - I feel rather than hear crunchiness, cracking and snapping mostly near nasal region.
The entire time my eyes were closed. Soon I was seeing my room and the visible furniture through the eyelids. Had a feeling of a presence - it was inside me and it was this presence that was seeing through the eyelids. I could feel it so strongly yet it was silent and unmoving. For a brief moment I thought how cool it would be if I could always see through the eyelids - started to think about certain tricks like asking others to hold up random number of fingers and telling them the exact number of fingers all the while with closed eyes.
The 'others' start to emerge on the ceiling just like in Salvia experiences. If they had been visible before Salvia experiences this incident would've scared me. There was no exchange of communication except that of facial expressions. Their look said something along the lines of 'It worked'. They seemed to be huddled together and being very cautious as to how I would react. My reaction is that I'm not afraid and mentally I say to them that it's okay, they can come through - there's no fear at least on my part. I am smiling, very happy to be able to see them especially without the use of Salvia.
I look away briefly and there is an anticlockwise spin. Sinking downwards and all is dark with a few visible glimmers of physical surrounding. I start to ask 'who am I' - who is the 'I' that has this experience and hold on to that.
In another space now - a big mansion like building. Members of my family are present here. I wonder what they are doing here. As I see them all I think that one of them is having this dream and I may have entered it. Or not. Too busy walking around to talk to anyone. Ahead I see a window and maybe a reflection of something. Want to zoom to it but it doesn't work so use the old fashioned form of transport and walk. After this everything is hazy.
Waking up this morning my brain felt heavy like it was overworked. Past few days feel like this fatigue of body and overworked brain has been increasing. Though throughout the day time energy levels seem normal.
Early Fatigue
It is day 5 since tailbone arousal with liquid flowing down and voila, body feels increasingly tired especially in morning. I have been trying to feed this body properly but healthy eating has been quite a struggle.
Tailbone Arousal
This morning woke up at 4 back to sleep by 5. Fall asleep only to be alerted back to the body where near the tailbone feel sexual arousal - cramping sensation yet very sexual. Incredibly aroused I encouraged the motion yet it was near to unbearable. Felt solid movement going up spine. Eventually decided to just let it take its course and lost consciousness.
Lately there has been an uncontrollable sexual intensity. Past two days feeling more tired than usual - needing to nap. There has been a feeling of flowing liquid going downwards from tailbone when this occured I had a feeling that I was going to feel tired due to this.
Lately there has been an uncontrollable sexual intensity. Past two days feeling more tired than usual - needing to nap. There has been a feeling of flowing liquid going downwards from tailbone when this occured I had a feeling that I was going to feel tired due to this.
Self-enquiry Lucid Dream
The lucid dream I had this morning was incredible as I had an amazing ability to stay lucid for longer than usual and control certain parts of the dream.
The dream starts off in a house, and there is a part where I almost give in to sexual urges but manage to control myself remembering it is a lucid dream.
I walk downstairs aware of each step. In front of a mirror the reflection is so clear, I imagine to be wearing a coat as I want to go out, I think about it some more, thinking of the colour grey. The coat appears instantly. I fold arms almost wrapping the body getting cosy. Here, I am so amazed that it has not yet ended.
Outside approach a building feeling like I have to be there. In a room there is a woman sitting facing me but giving some kind of lecture with others around. I don't like being there, move away and end up returning outside. Here I am lucid in a dream and need to think fast before it ends - what to do? Decide that I would like to ride a bicycle on the road since I want to do so in physical might as well try to overcome the fear of it in the dream. I can cycle it's just on the road I panic.
A bicycle appears in an antiques market stall - it is made almost entirely of wood. Take my purse out giving money to someone due to perhaps temporary loss of lucidity. I remind myself that its a dream and pull out more notes for the seller. Grab the bicycle with a firm grip and get cycling. I'm cycling - my legs are moving and it appears that there is motion and I can see that I am moving at a distance only I know that really I am not moving - there is no road, no distance and soon enough the bike feels unreal as well as my pedalling efforts. I awaken asking 'who am I?'
The dream starts off in a house, and there is a part where I almost give in to sexual urges but manage to control myself remembering it is a lucid dream.
I walk downstairs aware of each step. In front of a mirror the reflection is so clear, I imagine to be wearing a coat as I want to go out, I think about it some more, thinking of the colour grey. The coat appears instantly. I fold arms almost wrapping the body getting cosy. Here, I am so amazed that it has not yet ended.
Outside approach a building feeling like I have to be there. In a room there is a woman sitting facing me but giving some kind of lecture with others around. I don't like being there, move away and end up returning outside. Here I am lucid in a dream and need to think fast before it ends - what to do? Decide that I would like to ride a bicycle on the road since I want to do so in physical might as well try to overcome the fear of it in the dream. I can cycle it's just on the road I panic.
A bicycle appears in an antiques market stall - it is made almost entirely of wood. Take my purse out giving money to someone due to perhaps temporary loss of lucidity. I remind myself that its a dream and pull out more notes for the seller. Grab the bicycle with a firm grip and get cycling. I'm cycling - my legs are moving and it appears that there is motion and I can see that I am moving at a distance only I know that really I am not moving - there is no road, no distance and soon enough the bike feels unreal as well as my pedalling efforts. I awaken asking 'who am I?'
Self-enquiry
Have been reading a lot of material on Ramana Maharishi - though I had read about the method of self-enquiry I never quite understood it - it all seemed so trivial to me. However, I focused on simply observing any thoughts that came but this did not last long. Only recently I have been so drawn to his teachings that when I read thoroughly how to go about self-enquiry I couldn't believe how something that is now so simple was once so trivial. The method could be summed up in one sentence. Follow the 'I' thought back to its source simply by asking 'who am I?' each time a thought arises. According to Maharishi the 'I' thought is the root of all thoughts - past few days from personal observation on thoughts I have found that the 'I' is indeed the root of all thoughts.
Past few days enquiring has been so easy that the question has started to arise naturally with the majority of thoughts that pop up so much that I wake up from sleep questioning 'who am I?'
Another thing that has occured is that dreams have become more vivid yet they are completely irrelevant to the quest for Self. Last night as I fell asleep something appeared pierced in the field of vision - a black hole and I was able to see a familiar face, carried on with self-enquiry focusing on the feeling of 'I'. Entered a normal dream state and from there became steadily lucid and asking the questions in the intervals.
Past few days enquiring has been so easy that the question has started to arise naturally with the majority of thoughts that pop up so much that I wake up from sleep questioning 'who am I?'
Another thing that has occured is that dreams have become more vivid yet they are completely irrelevant to the quest for Self. Last night as I fell asleep something appeared pierced in the field of vision - a black hole and I was able to see a familiar face, carried on with self-enquiry focusing on the feeling of 'I'. Entered a normal dream state and from there became steadily lucid and asking the questions in the intervals.
Mugwort Refreshing Sleep
Drank mugwort tea last night before bed. Previously this tea made me so groggy in the morning and then when I stopped the grogginess eventually wore off - still there may be other unrelated factors. Needing more sleep.
This morning I woke up feeling refreshed but still wanting to get a bit more sleep - recall having several vivid dreams but was hoping for AP and put intention through last night for this. Did not wake up at all during sleep until this morning so no conscious AP.
This morning I woke up feeling refreshed but still wanting to get a bit more sleep - recall having several vivid dreams but was hoping for AP and put intention through last night for this. Did not wake up at all during sleep until this morning so no conscious AP.
Spinal Surgery
Drank an infusion of mugwort last night - forgot to chop up leaves - this time used less water, leaves and flower heads. Color was pale and flavour mild compared to previous night.
Went to bed late after midnight and fell asleep immediately. Had a lot of very vivid dreams but recall is not so great except for the last dream I had which blended into physical reality.
In this dream I am sitting on a chair with my back exposed. There are rows of other people sitting on chairs with their back exposed. The female doctor I met recently in PR is in front of me. There's a nurse behind me rubbing something on back of neck - getting prepped for surgery - something to do with the spine.
Suddenly a large bug that has the appearance of a bee but with big glowing red bulby eyes flies around and lands on table that is very near to my face. Nurse has probably been frightened away. The doctor flinches and gives me the impression that she is thinking that someone is spying on her. I remain calm and still.
Suddenly there is a pulsing at the base of the spine and that familiar feeling of pumping up the rectum. I tell the doctor that something is happening down there but she seems confused. The sensation is too strong, so strong I wake up still feeling the sensation. Turning over it calms down. Went back to sleep and woke up at 8am - usually I'm up before this time. So sleepy in the morning - not sure if it is the mugwort or the weather.
Went to bed late after midnight and fell asleep immediately. Had a lot of very vivid dreams but recall is not so great except for the last dream I had which blended into physical reality.
In this dream I am sitting on a chair with my back exposed. There are rows of other people sitting on chairs with their back exposed. The female doctor I met recently in PR is in front of me. There's a nurse behind me rubbing something on back of neck - getting prepped for surgery - something to do with the spine.
Suddenly a large bug that has the appearance of a bee but with big glowing red bulby eyes flies around and lands on table that is very near to my face. Nurse has probably been frightened away. The doctor flinches and gives me the impression that she is thinking that someone is spying on her. I remain calm and still.
Suddenly there is a pulsing at the base of the spine and that familiar feeling of pumping up the rectum. I tell the doctor that something is happening down there but she seems confused. The sensation is too strong, so strong I wake up still feeling the sensation. Turning over it calms down. Went back to sleep and woke up at 8am - usually I'm up before this time. So sleepy in the morning - not sure if it is the mugwort or the weather.
Mugwort Dream Recall
Had a cup of mugwort tea last night before bed. Dreams were vivid but no lucidity. Violent dream where a relative was trying to attack me and in self defense I'm slashing about going a bit wild.
In another vivid dream I'm at the bus stop. I get on a bus, use card but does not work but driver lets me through. Seated I can feel eyes on me so I turn around look at the other passengers, all silent. They look like foreigners and I'm starting to wonder if I accidently got on a tourist bus. Strangely it is dark inside and there are lights on - all the windows are sealed with metal sheets blocking external view. I get a little confused but no lucidity. There were more dreams but recall hazy or maybe too much dreaming.
I think I need to brew the tea by chopping leaves to help with infusion but despite soaking leaves and flower heads whole the tea is a vibrant green. The taste is incredibly soothing and pleasant. Physically I have been feeling a little groggy just feel like sleeping on the spot - I don't know if this is the tea or other factors. There have also been some muscle aches and this morning a pressure pain in left jaw.
I have enough mugwort for 5 days so will be drinking this next 5 days and then I plan to change tea over to nettles another highly nutritious tea from a plant that grows in the wild.
In another vivid dream I'm at the bus stop. I get on a bus, use card but does not work but driver lets me through. Seated I can feel eyes on me so I turn around look at the other passengers, all silent. They look like foreigners and I'm starting to wonder if I accidently got on a tourist bus. Strangely it is dark inside and there are lights on - all the windows are sealed with metal sheets blocking external view. I get a little confused but no lucidity. There were more dreams but recall hazy or maybe too much dreaming.
I think I need to brew the tea by chopping leaves to help with infusion but despite soaking leaves and flower heads whole the tea is a vibrant green. The taste is incredibly soothing and pleasant. Physically I have been feeling a little groggy just feel like sleeping on the spot - I don't know if this is the tea or other factors. There have also been some muscle aches and this morning a pressure pain in left jaw.
I have enough mugwort for 5 days so will be drinking this next 5 days and then I plan to change tea over to nettles another highly nutritious tea from a plant that grows in the wild.
Mugwort Tea Dreaming
Yesterday evening about an hour or so before bed I drank some mugwort tea - used the entire bunch I picked two days ago. I was surprised by the taste of the tea was expecting something bitter but instead had a nice fresh tolerable leafy taste.
At the time of drinking I was tired wanting to retire to bed - it was quite hot thought it might be difficult to sleep. An hour after tea I went to bed started to doze off 11pm- felt very sedated but I am not sure the tea caused this since I was already tired. However a lot of images emerged - auto visuals, very vivid I even found that I could reconstruct the visuals. Relaxed some more, felt myself smoothly transitioning to sleep state. Suddenly someone just ran directly near my face which made me jump. Fell asleep and I woke up around 12:33am recalling vivid dreams of harvesting plants - I think there were some mugwort as well. Waking up at this time I thought it might be about 4am - I felt like I slept for long but having slept for just over an hour all the days exhaustion was gone as if renewed with energy.
Went back to bed and transitioned to sleep immediately and all I recall is flashes of blue. I can recall snippets of more dreams but nothing vivid or lucid.
Healthwise the tea has helped me to sleep smoothly, refreshed me with renewed energy in just one hour. Dreamwise it has given initial highly vivid visuals whilst drifting off to sleep and helped with some recall which might get stronger over time. Of course I don't want to over use it nor would I recommend it to be taken regularly. A lot has been written about its medicinal use and like all medicines you do not want to over use this - right now I don't know much about the toxicity of this herb so will use with caution. Saying that, I am aware that I may have over used Salvia and need to minimize any future use - maybe sticking with once a week and lower dosage.
At the time of drinking I was tired wanting to retire to bed - it was quite hot thought it might be difficult to sleep. An hour after tea I went to bed started to doze off 11pm- felt very sedated but I am not sure the tea caused this since I was already tired. However a lot of images emerged - auto visuals, very vivid I even found that I could reconstruct the visuals. Relaxed some more, felt myself smoothly transitioning to sleep state. Suddenly someone just ran directly near my face which made me jump. Fell asleep and I woke up around 12:33am recalling vivid dreams of harvesting plants - I think there were some mugwort as well. Waking up at this time I thought it might be about 4am - I felt like I slept for long but having slept for just over an hour all the days exhaustion was gone as if renewed with energy.
Went back to bed and transitioned to sleep immediately and all I recall is flashes of blue. I can recall snippets of more dreams but nothing vivid or lucid.
Healthwise the tea has helped me to sleep smoothly, refreshed me with renewed energy in just one hour. Dreamwise it has given initial highly vivid visuals whilst drifting off to sleep and helped with some recall which might get stronger over time. Of course I don't want to over use it nor would I recommend it to be taken regularly. A lot has been written about its medicinal use and like all medicines you do not want to over use this - right now I don't know much about the toxicity of this herb so will use with caution. Saying that, I am aware that I may have over used Salvia and need to minimize any future use - maybe sticking with once a week and lower dosage.
Death Dream
At 4ish am woke up from a dream where I get this really bad feeling just before I receive a text message that my dad has passed away. I am in shock and tell family members. I feel some sadness but more than that I am bemused by the incident. I open eyes physically awake yet carrying those same feelings - relieved that it was just a dream.
The others were present - hazily fluttering in the surroundings almost as if to get my attention. I briefly felt that they created this dream to wake me up here in the physical and yet at the same there is this undeniable feeling of an impending loss. It doesn't help that there is some connection between the dream and reality as I have found out only today that my dad has been feeling very sick - it's interesting that I had this dream this morning since my dad just arrived yesterday from his holiday. When I saw him I had a feeling that something was wrong but he was being quiet about it.
The others were present - hazily fluttering in the surroundings almost as if to get my attention. I briefly felt that they created this dream to wake me up here in the physical and yet at the same there is this undeniable feeling of an impending loss. It doesn't help that there is some connection between the dream and reality as I have found out only today that my dad has been feeling very sick - it's interesting that I had this dream this morning since my dad just arrived yesterday from his holiday. When I saw him I had a feeling that something was wrong but he was being quiet about it.
Mugwort - The Dream Herb
I have been doing some exploring in wild plants - for use as food and medicine. I have taken a great interest in this subject and exploring my local wild areas. Only just starting to harvest some amazing nutritious berries.
One plant that I have come across is mugwort, considered a herb dream - many have smoked or brewed into a tea and have had powerfully vivid dreams. It can also be left under the pillow or near the bed in order to enhance dreaming.
I will be harvesting some mugwort leaves and flowers soon, will dry and make tea. As well as having dream effects this herb provides many health benefits. Will report back any experiences.
One plant that I have come across is mugwort, considered a herb dream - many have smoked or brewed into a tea and have had powerfully vivid dreams. It can also be left under the pillow or near the bed in order to enhance dreaming.
I will be harvesting some mugwort leaves and flowers soon, will dry and make tea. As well as having dream effects this herb provides many health benefits. Will report back any experiences.
Salvia Type Projection
Woke at 2:10am - walked a bit and by 3am tried to fall asleep. Depressed about the wound on my neck which isn't healing as fast as it is apparently supposed to - more tests to be done and I think I'm more sick of the hospital visits then I am of my condition.
Fidgeting a lot until by 6am gave in and closed eyes. No intention to AP, just hoping to make up for lost sleep. I can see immediately with closed eyes the impression of the others, only it is dark - with Salvia it is like the lights come on and I can see again . I can feel their movement more than I'm able to see them.
I can see different contrasts of black a neck starting to form. I open eyes just to see that I am still physically awake and then close again. Now it feels like someone is stuck to my face and that's is why I can't see - this entity seems to be blocking my view. Again the neck forms and this time I relax and go with the flow. Soon I see a young man, formed by the colour black and splits of light - his face has cracks and the light appears to be glowing through these cracks. He is looking directly at me. A fuzzy snowy patch suddenly appears, forming into checkered shapes glistening in flashy lights. The patch forms into the face of an old man who looks familiar from other experiences. Others start to storm through and this experience starts to feel very similar to Salvia sessions. It's interesting how this is occuring without the Salvia.
The young man is doing something to third eye - I can feel the pressure - intense and energetic. I relax and suddenly I am moving in a projection. At some point open eyes because I'm still aware of physical environment and body. Awareness fully on body - it feels heavy. Close eyes and I'm still travelling.
Near towards some sea area - I know this place, wanted to come here - I'm so happy they heeded to my request. I am trying to remember when I was last at this location. It is strange that I know this place yet cannot recall when I was last here - I don't even know the name of the palce but the feeling of knowing this place is undeniable. I even had this flashing memory - an inner feeling of having spoken to someone about this place in the physical and how I wished I could go there but still no actual recall of this taking place.
Streaming along now near a row of buildings - movement fast and vision is a little dark and hazy but able to percieve in other ways.
Passing by a street and I think I see houses similar to the one I live in moving across many people I am in very close contact with a man who is carrying a briefcase. Moving on I start to have these burning questions. Who am I? Who are we and those others? What is this Earth and why are we here? I keep repeating these like mantras. Start to sink within the layers of the Earth and at the same time I am curiously aware of my physical body - it feels like my physical arms are being moved and with some trepidation I open my eyes. Head is moving left and right but not swaying.
My impression after this is that the two men I saw initially are experimenting, mostly working on 3rd eye and head region. I am getting a stronger feeling that there is information stored in each human being - perhaps in the brain or dna or in every particles - information and instructions that we have access to - much like a super computer - I just don't know how to use the information simply because I don't even know how to access it.
I think in the Earth Documentary experience this part was being accessed. The huge amount of energy that literally charged the brain with electricity was barely enough to get a clear processing of information - managed to only get bitesize, snippets of information about the Earth. Eventually after this huge charge of energy I was physically drained with a severe headache.
In this mornings experience there was no energy going through crown of head which is probably why I haven't experienced major headaches. I have a feeling another incident like the one in Earth Documentary is approaching and will likely be more intense than anything I've experienced and will require a strong healthy body. This certainly explains why I've been so obsessed with getting incredibly healthy and trying out a great number of detox therapies since the beginning of this year almost as if 'they' have planned this out guiding me every step of the way.
Fidgeting a lot until by 6am gave in and closed eyes. No intention to AP, just hoping to make up for lost sleep. I can see immediately with closed eyes the impression of the others, only it is dark - with Salvia it is like the lights come on and I can see again . I can feel their movement more than I'm able to see them.
I can see different contrasts of black a neck starting to form. I open eyes just to see that I am still physically awake and then close again. Now it feels like someone is stuck to my face and that's is why I can't see - this entity seems to be blocking my view. Again the neck forms and this time I relax and go with the flow. Soon I see a young man, formed by the colour black and splits of light - his face has cracks and the light appears to be glowing through these cracks. He is looking directly at me. A fuzzy snowy patch suddenly appears, forming into checkered shapes glistening in flashy lights. The patch forms into the face of an old man who looks familiar from other experiences. Others start to storm through and this experience starts to feel very similar to Salvia sessions. It's interesting how this is occuring without the Salvia.
The young man is doing something to third eye - I can feel the pressure - intense and energetic. I relax and suddenly I am moving in a projection. At some point open eyes because I'm still aware of physical environment and body. Awareness fully on body - it feels heavy. Close eyes and I'm still travelling.
Near towards some sea area - I know this place, wanted to come here - I'm so happy they heeded to my request. I am trying to remember when I was last at this location. It is strange that I know this place yet cannot recall when I was last here - I don't even know the name of the palce but the feeling of knowing this place is undeniable. I even had this flashing memory - an inner feeling of having spoken to someone about this place in the physical and how I wished I could go there but still no actual recall of this taking place.
Streaming along now near a row of buildings - movement fast and vision is a little dark and hazy but able to percieve in other ways.
Passing by a street and I think I see houses similar to the one I live in moving across many people I am in very close contact with a man who is carrying a briefcase. Moving on I start to have these burning questions. Who am I? Who are we and those others? What is this Earth and why are we here? I keep repeating these like mantras. Start to sink within the layers of the Earth and at the same time I am curiously aware of my physical body - it feels like my physical arms are being moved and with some trepidation I open my eyes. Head is moving left and right but not swaying.
My impression after this is that the two men I saw initially are experimenting, mostly working on 3rd eye and head region. I am getting a stronger feeling that there is information stored in each human being - perhaps in the brain or dna or in every particles - information and instructions that we have access to - much like a super computer - I just don't know how to use the information simply because I don't even know how to access it.
I think in the Earth Documentary experience this part was being accessed. The huge amount of energy that literally charged the brain with electricity was barely enough to get a clear processing of information - managed to only get bitesize, snippets of information about the Earth. Eventually after this huge charge of energy I was physically drained with a severe headache.
In this mornings experience there was no energy going through crown of head which is probably why I haven't experienced major headaches. I have a feeling another incident like the one in Earth Documentary is approaching and will likely be more intense than anything I've experienced and will require a strong healthy body. This certainly explains why I've been so obsessed with getting incredibly healthy and trying out a great number of detox therapies since the beginning of this year almost as if 'they' have planned this out guiding me every step of the way.
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